Oh Yuzu.....
11:53 p.m. x 27.08.10
I had to watch the 27 Aug Music Station.
I had to be reminded of it one hour before my day.
I had to see this
And get reminded of
and
Just one hour before my day.
I've ordered a pile of memorial books charting his life in showbiz and his achievements, ups and downs. But they have been sitting there, because I dare not open up the package. It's just something I don't want to touch, for now. But I feel jealous at times for living so normally. It's like, he was such a big part of my life. I had professed to like him, admire him so much. I had felt my heart crushed when I found out. But now, less than a year later, I'm continuing to fangirl over others, laugh happily at entertainment, watch and squeal at dramas... Like...nothing ever happened. It's not just that. I've lost a childhood playmate many years back. Though we had grown distant since me entering secondary school, the news hit me. I remember crying for the following few days, even in school. But now, it's like nothing ever happened. Why do people forget? I tend to look at the positive side of things. But here I can't. Forgetting the pain of losing is an amazing ability. But it's also sad that we forget the emotions we hold for people once so dear. They fade into our memories, only to be thought of once in a long while.
Btw, here's Yuzu's performance. And as expected, it's good. =)
And,
Happy Birthday to myself.
*does a little dance*
Time for a celebration?
Feels a bit lonely
------------------------iGave!
7:33 p.m. x 25.08.10
This page in Straits Times caught my eye this morning. I'm proud to say I'm one of them! And I'd like to see this year's grad try beat that!
------------------------Natsu Matsuri
1:23 a.m. x 22.08.10
I had my natsuri matsuri at Changi Primary School this afternoon!
We reached quite early, at about 2pm and there was already a queue. Crazy queueing under the sun, standing, no water, no umbrella...the funny thing is, most of the people in front of us were standing while most of those behind us were sitting. LOL. The reverse. It's crazy, coz after they finally (at 4pm) opened the gates to the school, those who had no advanced tickets had to queue again for the tix. I helped someone queue for about 20 mins, and the queue didn't move at all. It's crazy I tell you. If I don't have an advanced ticket, I wouldn't go.
After the people I was queueing for came, I rushed into the venue and got my yukata ticket, which was different from the rest coz I brought my own yukata! Here are to photos, before and after changing.
I was quite proud when the nice ladies helping me with my yukata commented on the quality of the yukata and of the belt. But the belt was stiff, which made it hard to bend and tie. They were saying (to each other) that they want this to turn out nice, and were discussing how to tie the ribbon. After a long while, they finally managed to get it done! So thankful for them!
The candy apple were sold out (again!!!?) so we didn't manage to eat it. Actually, I don't really like it very much, but just because it's so sought after, we wanted to try it too! We were quite thirsty, so we got some drinks after buying food. And what better to drink than this the very product Sho endorses?! It's very very very gas-y. Worse than Pepsi. Something like 7-UP, but less sweet. After drinking the can, I felt so bolted!
There was a crazy number of people there. Just look at the photo below. There's a field with a central stage for performances, and on the four sides of the stage are giant picnic mats for people to sit. Just extrapolate what you see in the photo to form the full picture! And remember, there're people at the other part of the venue, not just at the field! I had fun watching people and the beautiful yukata/outrageous cosplaying etc they wore!
Our last photo before they returned the yukatas. I wore mine home. I chose a purple obi (much to the dismay of the shop assistant) in spite of my pink yukata because.....I was on a Jun high after watching his solo in 5x10. If I had been a Ohno fan back then, I'd probably have chosen a purple yukata with a blue obi! XP
Beautiful lights...in Arashi colours
It was a fun day. Very tiring, but fun. It's the atmosphere rather than the food (which was over priced and not really that delicious) that makes the whole event so fun.
------------------------How can it be made known so fast!?
10:36 p.m. x 20.08.10
I got asked the most dreaded question today in the cab on the way home.
"Are you related to ****? Everyone is speculating."
"Huh? Our surnames are different."
"But can also be relative right?"
"Er yeah...distant relative."
At the very instant he first asked, it was a split second decision between lying straight and coming out straight. I think the government's moral education has worked well on me. I couldn't bring myself to lie. In such a spilt second decision, it kind of reflects the true self.
But on hindsight, I'm half glad I told...somewhat the truth. In the first place, for him to even have such a suspicion in mind...meant that something got leaked. So, if I had denied it, it'll reflect quite badly on my character. I say half glad because now I have to deal with the aftermath. I'm sure he'll go on to tell the team. And the team will tell those outside the team. In the first place, who was he refering to by "everyone"?
There's nothing wrong with letting people know. That's what I was told.
But it just isn't. At least sw agrees with me. Because:
- if I did anything wrong, it'll reflect badly on my relations.
- if I got promoted/given special opportunities, people may say that it's by relations.
- if I slacked a bit, people will say I'm making sure of the fact that I know people up there.
- if I'm not capable enough for my position, people may say that I had gotten there because of relations.
It's just not something I want to get involved in. Like what I told sw, I don't feel anything different regardless of who my superior is. But people may. And they may not converse freely in front of me. And not being able to freely exchange ideas is detrimental to forming true friendship. I mean, it's not like I'll carry tales (hey, I've heard tons of bad, ridiculous, scandalous rumours/comments about people I know, but I've never spread it around!)...
Yeah. I'm quite upset.
And I'm going for the Bangkok off-peak trip. Not excited at all.
------------------------I reported to work late today
8:47 p.m. x 19.08.10
On a beautiful Thursday morning.....
*sms tune sounds*
(Surprisingly, I can't wake up to my alarm but can do so to the sms tune) I reached out for my phone and clicked open the sms.
"Hi dun come in so early tmr. maybe ard 10am.."
From Snr Washing Detergent.
I checked the time.
541 AM
Piecing that together with the fact that they've been working late the past week, I realised that he had just knocked off work!
My reply: Ok. By tmr you mean later right?
A few moments later came a reply.
"Oh you are still awake. yup later..."
Usually, when someone reply to your sms at such an hour, you'll think, "Oh s/he just woke up." But no, he thought that I was still awake. That's because he's been put in a mindset that between 10PM to 6AM there's no sleep involved.
Crazy!
A few moments later, another sms came in.
This time from Snr C.
"Hey gal, we'll be going client's place later coz we worked late yesterday, Maybe you reach at abt 10ish."
So yeah, with that I managed to sleep in a bit late and report at 10am.
At the office, I got the fuller picture. They had worked till 530 yesterday. And while in the cab, Snr Washing Detergent remembered about me and smsed me in case I report to work at 830. Snr Xiao Mei thought the same too and smsed Snr C to tell me to go in late.
So gan dong~~~~~~~
A few funny things:
- The taxi driver asked Snr Xiao Mei if she was getting to work or knocking off. And when she reached home and bathed, her brother was just getting ready for school.
- Another taxi driver asked AIC if she's going home to rest and not working for the day. When told that she's going back to office at around 11, he told he to faster sleep and that he'll call her when they've reached.
- Snr C was brushing her teeth when she got confused at what she was doing. Should she just brush her teeth, change her clothes and go back to office immediately? HAHA when she reached home, her mom opened the door for her.
Remember, this isn't a once-in-a-blue-moon thing. They've been working really hard. Coming back the last 2 Sundays. Till 4 on Mon, I wonder when on Tues, and then 530 on Wed. I have a feeling they'll quite late today again.
Poor them.
And if I get booked for continuity next year....good luck to me. But well, that's provided I'm good enough for the AIC to book me!
------------------------Xiao Mei
10:51 p.m. x 18.08.10
My nickname is now
"Xiao Mei".
The thing is, that was the nickname for Fion! So, when one of the seniors came next to me and addressed something to "Xiao Mei", I didn't turn to face him at all! I thought he was talking to Fion, who was seated opposite me! @.@
------------------------Go go team!
10:56 p.m. x 17.08.10
The team left office at 4AM. They returned to client's place at around 930AM.
@.@
And while they were all cracking their heads over the consol, I was there reading the manual, with nothing to do.
And I left client's at 630.
I feel quite useless, quite embarrassed. Is there anything I can help? Everything sounds so chim! And to think half the team had only been with us for 9-10 mths!
Hopefully I'll reach that stage by the time I'm 1 year old.
------------------------Work starts! Now!
8:02 p.m. x 16.08.10
I've just started on my LT engagement. For...5 weeks.
Before this, I've heard from other seniors how hard the team is working. And today, I finally see that in action.
They left client's place at 645.
Not to go home.
To go back to office to clear MIC points. And apparently, they've worked OT so much that they said "No Macs today, I'm sick of it".
T.T
I feel quite stressed coz they seem very zai. And the job is one of the big jobs, meaning...there're high expectations!
------------------------Speed lunching
12:30 p.m. x 12.08.10
That's why I enjoy lunch alone.
I eat at my pace, eat at my desired place, at my desired budget, at my desired time. No need to try make conversation. No need to mind anything.
I went for lunch at 12and I just came back. I reached the store at the bridge at around 12.10, left the store at around 12.20 and reached office at around 12.30.
=)
Of course, this is not healthy in the long run as it's behaviour typical of a loner. But...oh well...
My lunch mate didn't contact me about lunch today, and she went to do her elearning at level 29, without me even knowing, so I guess it's best to leave a bit of breathing space.
------------------------Positive post #1
10:54 p.m. x 10.08.10
Sw told me before how she was amused (?) by my warped perception of negative things. Inspired by that remark, I've decided to post some positive posts here occasionally. Just for fun.
Positive Post #1
Your sadistic side is at work...
No matter how tough things get, grit your teeth and face the challenge.
It's not actually that bad; it's just an illusion the sadistic side hidden deep inside us is conjuring up.
You want proof?
I'll give you proof.
Just search your memories and recall how many times you thought that a failed grade would pull your whole future down, or that not making into a particular school/course/company made your worth much lower.
It did seem like the end of the world back then right?
But now, they've became trophies of your victory, of your survival.
So, just bear with it for now!
The hardships of today will become fond memories of tomorrow.
-----------------------------------
gif by lyricalidol.
Even if you're scared stiff....
gif by xxchibi.
Just charge at it!
------------------------
Oh.no